...COLD TEMPERATURES WITH A RISK OF WINTER PRECIPITATION FOR SOUTH CENTRAL TEXAS AND THE HILL COUNTRY THIS EASTER WEEKEND...

AN UNSEASONABLY COLD AIRMASS WILL PLUNGE ACROSS SOUTH CENTRAL TEXAS AND THE HILL COUNTRY LATE TONIGHT AND SATURDAY. TEMPERATURES WILL PEAK IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS OF SATURDAY... THEN WILL BE STEADY OR SLOWLY FALL THROUGH THE DAY WITH READINGS IN MID 30S TO LOWER 40S EXPECTED BY THE AFTERNOON. NORTHEAST WINDS OF 10 TO 20 MPH WILL CREATE WIND CHILL TEMPERATURES IN THE MID 20S TO MID 30S. RECORD LOW TEMPERATURES IN THE 30S ARE EXPECTED SUNDAY MORNING WITH EVEN SOME UPPER 20S IN THE HILL COUNTRY.

So I decided to enter the mall. I figured I would check it out to make sure that the local sheeple are ok as it was my duty as a sheepdog. I chamber checked my six Glocks and proceeded to leave the vehicle. I was ready for almost anything. I knew that if the need arose I could double-time it out to my truck and get my Barrett .50 up and running in case I needed to make some tactical shots at terrorists who were using cover. I also had a nice Bushmaster with all the tactical accessories in the trunk and my 870 to back that up. Don't worry I have all my bases covered.

On my first day CCWing I went on patrol and walked around the entire neighborhood watching things with my hyper sense of awareness. Nobody but other CCWers understands what I am talking about. I walked through the neighborhood and I saw the illegal immigrants sitting on the stoop watching me with a keen eye. I suspect that they were intimidated by my presence (I am 6'1 and 325 lbs) with a 50 inch waist. I don't understand Spanish but they must have been talking about me.

As a side note, what does Gordo mean?

#20: 15th Annual New York City April Fool’s Day Parade
In 2000 a news release was sent to the media stating that the 15th annual New York City April Fool's Day Parade was scheduled to begin at noon on 59th Street and would proceed down to Fifth Avenue. According to the release, floats in the parade would include a "Beat 'em, Bust 'em, Book 'em" float created by the New York, Los Angeles, and Seattle police departments. This float would portray "themes of brutality, corruption and incompetence." A "Where's Mars?" float, reportedly built at a cost of $10 billion, would portray missed Mars missions. Finally, the "Atlanta Braves Baseball Tribute to Racism" float would feature John Rocker who would be "spewing racial epithets at the crowd." CNN and the Fox affiliate WNYW sent television news crews to cover the parade. They arrived at 59th Street at noon only to discover that there was no sign of a parade, at which point the reporters realized they had been hoaxed. The prank was the handiwork of Joey Skaggs, an experienced hoaxer. Skaggs had been issuing press releases advertising the nonexistent parade every April Fool's Day since 1986.

American archaeologists were stunned as news broke today that a high-school student with a cameraphone caught Bigfoot in the act of planting artifacts at Burns Mound. An important Mississippian period (A.D. 900-1100) site outside of Memphis, Tennessee, Burns Mound's discovery during a joint Bigfoot-University of North Memphis expedition was one of ARCHAEOLOGY's Top 10 finds of 2003.

"We're taking this very seriously," says Bigfoot's co-principal investigator, University of North Memphis archaeologist Louis Patlin. "While there is no definitive proof that Bigfoot has 'salted' the site with faked ceramic artifacts, I can confirm the university has opened an investigation."

A year ago Cassandra Sotting, a former University of Michigan graduate student and site supervisor at Bigfoot's excavations at Grover Mound in Illinois, created a blog (bigfootcoverup.blogspot.com) to publicize her doubts about the spectacular finds at sites where Bigfoot has worked. "I was drummed out of archaeology for telling the truth about Bigfoot," says Sotting, who is currently unemployed. "Now the whole world knows I was right. They can't say I'm crazy any more."