A chronicle of vile and pernicious truths.
About This Blog
The right to keep and bear arms, occasional attempts at satire, frequent recourse to sarcasm, and anything else I can think of. Oh yeah, and pipe smoking. Sometimes H.P. Lovecraft. And obscure Monty Python references when applicable.

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Hell's Hangmen
What really happened to the Anasazi people? Was Jack the Ripper someone's second choice? What was the famous Ranger tracking in Gypsy's Gulch? These and other questions are answered in Hell's Hangmen: Horror in the Old West as twenty-two of today's most talented writers bring you fantastical tales with a Western Flavor. Thrill to those eerie days of yesteryear...

You can order it by clicking here.


Most recent update: 5 August 2007.
Most Recently Abhorréd
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August 2007
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Year Archive
Local Weather
View Article  Memery
Not really any surprises here.  Seen at Ride Fast.  Rule:  if you have auto-complete on, just type in the letters of the alphabet and confess to whatever shows up on top of the list.

akeyboardanda45.blogspot.com/
blogonomicon.eponym.com/blog (big surprise)
cheaperthandirt.com/
deuceofclubs.com/randumb/clothespingun/clothespingun01.htm
endthewaronguns.blogspot.com/ (seemingly now defunct)
www.firearmscoalition.org
groups.google.com/ (sometimes lurking in alt.horror.cthulhu)
help.blogger.com/
images.google.com/
jaredmclaughlin.wordpress.com
www.kndo.com/Global/story.asp?S=6947036&nav=menu484_2_10
www.ligotti.net/ (another Lovecraft-related site)
my.eponym.com/ (another big surprise)
nancysgardenspot.blogspot.com/
onemonkeystypewriter.blogspot.com/
porcupinenine.blogspot.com/
www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html
reformedchicksblabbing.blogspot.com/
s102.photobucket.com/albums/m102/alandp/
www.technorati.com/search/blogonomicon.eponym.com
users.lewiston.com/ghostpwr/MMM.gif (I don't remember what this was, it's gone now)
viewzone.com/milkyway.html
www.weatherunderground.com/
x --  Nothing.
www.youravon.com/ (My wife is an Avon rep, and I place her orders for her since she's computer-shy).
z  --  Nothing.

I do all my blog reading with Bloglines, so the only reason the blogs show up on this list is if I've recently loaded the actual site so I can leave a comment or look at something that doesn't show up in the newsfeed.
View Article  Because everyone else is doing it
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 7.9
Mind: 7.5
Body: 8.4
Spirit: 7.6
Friends/Family: 7.2
Love: 9.1
Finance: 6.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Mind:  Put that one down for compulsive reading and high curiosity.

Body:  I exercise every day.  The job I have requires that I walk a lot.  I get a lot of exercise.  Sometimes too much, I think.

Spirit:  Growing up in a Christian home where we went to church three times a week and I was constantly schooled on the Bible.  So yes, I can quote from the Bible occasionally.  I can also quote from the Tao te Ching, if that counts as a "holy text."  There was a time when I could quote from the Bhavagad Gita, but it's been a while since I studied that one.

Friends/Family:  See above.  There's only one person who I now consider a very good friend, and I don't get to see him very often, but still...

Love:  The quiz results said my "love" score is much higher than average.  How did that happen?  Luck or destiny, take your pick.  I never dated in high school or even after high school.  I always thought that it would eventually happen, and eventually it did.  At one point I gave up looking and resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my life, and then I met my future wife.  It took a while, which is why I have kids in elementary school when all of my classmates that I know of have kids who are now adults.  So if you're looking for words of wisdom, I don't have any.  Some people might call it luck, but to me it was destiny.

Finance:  Not every bill is always paid on time, and I don't have a particularly high-paying job.  But we never get threatened with utility shut-offs, repossession or foreclosure, so it's not that bad.  So there you go.
View Article  Sorry, Kelly

More Fun Quizzes at QuizPox.com


Or girl next door tries to go Goth, but can't shake the girl next door.

Another bogus quiz, but for some reason I thought this was pretty funny.  Keep hitting the button without changing any answers and you'll keep getting different celebs.

First I got Kelly Rippa.  Way too bubbly, although not unattractive.  Then I got Jessica Simpson.  More bubbly, except all air and no soap.  Then Demi Moore, which actually...hmmm...no, nevermind.

And then Avril.  I have no idea why this is so funny, but I'm still cracking up about it.  Maybe I'm just tired.  Maybe it's the vampire makeup.  But you know, without all that vampire mascara she looks like this.  See what I mean about girl next door?

However, since I'm married and old enough to be her eccentric uncle, I really have no opinion on the matter.

(Seen in various places, which you've probably already seen, too).
View Article  Gunslinger, heh



How to Win a Fight With a Liberal is the ultimate survival guide for political arguments

My Conservative Identity:

You are an Anti-government Gunslinger, also known as a libertarian conservative. You believe in smaller government, states’ rights, gun rights, and that, as Reagan once said, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”

Take the quiz at www.FightLiberals.com



Seen at Shooting The Messenger.

UPDATE:  FYI.  The graphic at the top is from the manga Trinity Blood.  The character pictured is a battle android named Tres (I think), but also called Gunslinger.  He was made to kill vampires.
View Article  I'm humbled


Nyx of One Monkey's Typewriter has bestowed upon me that Blogger Reflection Award that's been going around.  I'm supposed to post what she said about me and then tag five other bloggers.  So here's the first part:
AlanDP of Blogonomicon has always made me think, "This is what it would have been like if my grandfather had blogged." My grandfather was a reader, a gun collector, a pipe smoker, and seemed to have grown fond of Monty Python over the years. He didn't say a lot, kept most things short and sweet, but everything he did say was worth hearing. He was one of the greatest men I've ever known, and I mean it as a very sincere compliment when I say Alan reminds me of him.
Everyone likes getting a little recognition, even if it's from one of these meme things, and I'm no exception.

However, it goes against my personal philosophy to tag others with memes, so I'm not going to do that part.  I don't add other blogs to my blogroll unless I think that person's work is worth spending time reading.  In fact I have several that I'm evaluating right now.  Oh yes.  Most blogs that I add go through an indeterminate evaluation period before I decide one way or the other.  I don't just throw things on there haphazardly.  So peruse the blogroll.  There's lots of good stuff there.
View Article  Runes
                 

      Language of the Norse, Older Futhark! Thirty symbols, all told. And no hardier, more warrior-like tongue has ever graced the longships of the Viki or left the Celts and Saxons in such quivering fear. There's only one drawback, that being you died 800 years ago.     

The Which Ancient Language Are You Test written by imipak on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
Ah but you only think I am dead.  I live on in goofy new-age fortune-telling gimmicks.

Via Reformed Chicks Blabbing.
View Article  I didn't see that one coming...
You scored as Black Witch, You are a Black Witch, and a very powerful one at that! Beware he who crosses your way, I sure wouldn't want to be him! Just watch out who you place your curses on, for they may in turn curse you with an even more terrible curse!

Black Witch


50%

Fallen Angel


25%

You are a Demon


25%

You are a Vampiric Elf!


0%

Vampire


0%

What creature of the night are you you most like? (Pics!!)
created with QuizFarm.com

It's okay.  I use a survival knife for my athame.

I wonder what your answers have to be to score as a "vampiric elf" as opposed to just a run of the mill vampire.  And once you're a vampire, does it really matter if you were an elf first?

Seen at One Monkey's Typewriter.  So mote it be.
View Article  More evidence of a quiet, normal life
I sometimes participate in memes voluntarily.  Here's one that I've already done variations on from Hell in a Handbasket. I'll see if I can think of some new ones.

As James said, thank goodness these are only eight random facts, not interesting or admirable.

1.  I've never seen an ocean.  The closest I ever got was the San Francisco Bay.  (The Gulf of Mexico doesn't count).

2.  I used to play solitaire a lot.  So much that I was given a book of solitaire games for Christmas one year.  I used a lap table that my great-grandfather built for himself to play solitaire on.  And of course I used real cards, not the computer games.

3.  My sisters refuse to play Trivial Pursuit with me.  Anymore.

4.  I once had a close encounter with an alligator.  Since I'm still here typing this, you may assume that I won.

5.  I've never been involved in a serious car wreck.

6.  Although you couldn't tell by my last name, part of my ancestry is Scottish.  And I love the sound of a bagpipe.

7.  I was once prodded into performing a completely spontaneous stand-up comedy routine at a summer camp talent show, which apparently everyone thought was pretty good.  I think the audience wasn't very demanding.

8.  The first woman I ever dated, I married.
View Article  A meme because I'm bored
Man, what a slow day.  Took the kids to our one-day Vacation Bible School today, went and picked up some fencing.  That's about it.  Here's a meme I've seen in a couple of places, most recently at When your only tool is a hammer.

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, although my name sounds like I was named after a character from "Robin Hood."
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No, it's messy.  I print all the time so people can read it.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Uh...HEB used to have some expensive mesquite-smoked turkey slices that I really liked.
DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes.
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Sure.
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?  You must be kidding.
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes, and appendix too.
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Stuff like Honey & Nut Crunch, Honey Nut Cheerios, Nut & Honey, etc.
DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? No.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Bluebell Homemade Vanilla slathered with butterscotch syrup.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their eyes.
RED OR PINK? What?
WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I procrastinate.
WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?  Don't really know.  There are a lot of people I've known that I often think about and wonder what ever became of them.
WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans, no shoes.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Bacon & cheese sandwich.
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Sirius new age channel on Dish Network, thunder rumbling in the distance.
IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Blue violet.
FAVORITE SMELLS? Rain, freshly plowed earth, wood smoke.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The HR person from SAWS.
FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Women's gymnastics.
HAIR COLOR[S]? Brown.
EYE COLOR?  Blue.
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, but I've worn spectacles most of my life.
FAVORITE FOOD? Pizza, hamburgers, venison, barbecued beef (not a big fan of chicken), mashed potatoes, homegrown peas & beans.
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Both.
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Howl's Moving Castle.
WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White.
SUMMER OR WINTER?  Autumn.
HUGS OR KISSES? I'm not really a touchy-feely kind of person.
FAVORITE DESSERT?  Apple pie, lemon meringue pie, cheesecake, fresh strawberries dusted with a little sugar (fructose instead of sucrose, if I can find it).
MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Not sure what these questions are talking about.
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett.
WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't use no stinkin' mouse pad.
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Tonight I watched that cartoon "The Replacements" and I thought it was pretty funny.  It had a lot of joke references that the kids didn't get.
FAVORITE SOUND[S]?  The wind through pine trees, thunder and rain, whippoorwills and owls calling at night.  And coyotes, too.
ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles, except I think "Tattoo You" is the best album ever (see sarcasm above).
WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Jasper, British Columbia.
DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can sing a little.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN? The hospital (there's only one) in Floresville, Texas.
View Article  It's a Wulcan Wessle, Keptin
Your results:
You are Chekov
Chekov
100%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)
80%
Jean-Luc Picard
80%
Geordi LaForge
60%
Uhura
60%
Mr. Scott
60%
Spock
40%
Worf
40%
Data
30%
Will Riker
20%
Beverly Crusher
20%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)
20%
Deanna Troi
0%
Mr. Sulu
0%
James T. Kirk (Captain)
0%
Brash, rash and hasty,
  but everyone loves you.
Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

Seen at Shooting the Messenger and Cowboy Blob's.
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