I will probably be asleep by midnight. I haven't gone out of my way to celebrate the new year in a long time, since about the time a friend of mine was killed in a car accident on New Year's Eve in the mid-80's. No alcohol involved, just a treacherously icy road on his way home from work.

It was just a few days ago that I mentioned it was technically my blogoversary. But it was such a meandering, unfocused, inconsistent thing for so long that I don't really think much of it before March of this year, when I actually became more or less focused and started posting something pretty much every day. It was in April that I noticed someone had actually read this blog, when Lest Darkness Fall linked to this post from April 8.

When I first entered this blog in the infamous Ecosystem, I really was an Insignificant Microbe. I am still usually surprised when some of the other more widely-read blogs link to this one. I know many readers first came here because of my somewhat acerbic comments regarding gun control, but when I stray from that I hope that I will be forgiven.

I have never been one to make New Year's resolutions. The beginning of the year is only another nonsensical, arbitrary boundary in the grand scheme of things anyway, although it does give one a good excuse for reflection on the year past. But I'll try for a couple of resolutions. (By the way, I did not buy a single gun this year, so I think I am due for some).

1. Use the words "eldritch" and "doom" on this blog at least once per month. I'll try to sneak in an "ineffable" now and then as well.

2. Get a new C&R license. I accidentally let mine expire this past March. C&R guns I would like to get: an SKS, a Mauser of some sort, and a CZ-50. And maybe a couple of others I can't think of right now.

3. "Complete" my .357 magnum collection. By "complete" I mean to add a lever-action rifle or carbine and a derringer. These added to my Ruger SP-101 and S&W Model 28 should provide a well-rounded collection of .357 magnum blasting tools. If I could afford one of those semi-auto pistols I would go for that too, but they are way out of my price range.

4. More gun pr0n. I don't have the camera or especially the photographic skills to take really nice pix, and I don't have a huge collection to take pictures of, but I'm going to try and post more "found on the internet" pictures that strike my fancy.

5. Go to the range more often.

So here's some gun pr0n to end the year with. The Desert Eagle .357 magnum.
Can you look at this gun and not want to shoot it? I can't.

Next to Last Samurai has posted a meme which I'll play along with since it doesn't require much thought.

Four jobs you've had in your life: pizza delivery guy, pager repair tech, security guard, truck driver.

Four movies you could watch over and over: Big Trouble in Little China, Dirty Harry, Darkman, Mary Poppins.

Four TV shows you love to watch: Invader Zim ("And now I leave you to your...moosey fate"), King of the Hill ("Don't play lawyer-ball, boy"), The Venture Brothers (But...do I have to kill him?/[sigh] I guess not), Aqua Teen Hunger Force ("But does it play the ultimate song--Boston's More Than A Feeling").

Four places you've been on vacation: Big Bend National Park; Lewistown, MT; Glenwood Springs, CO; Bogalusa, LA.

4 web sites you visit daily: only two. A weather website and Bloglines.

4 places you'd rather be: right now? Nowhere.

4 of your favorite foods: chili, tamales, enchiladas, nachos.

But I forgot. One hundred sixty years ago, on December 29, 1845, the Republic of Texas ceased to be a republic and became a state. I can't think of any reason why this should be a significant post for this blog, but I'll post it anyway.

I also have no idea why Texas needs an official state dinosaur. I suppose other states do as well, but I don't feel like researching it. In any case, the official Texas state dinosaur is the Pleurocoelus.

Today's installment at Interesting Thing of the Day is an episode from World War II which I had never heard of: The Oradour Massacre. The small French town of Oradour was wiped out by SS in reprisal against Resistance forces operating in the area.

The story of Oradour is known from a handful of people who managed to escape. Two women and one child climbed out of the church through a broken window, though only one woman survived her injuries; five wounded men escaped from one of the barns; and one child ran when he saw the soldiers in town. Other than those seven, the only survivors of Oradour were about 20 people who fled when they saw the approaching troops and residents who were out of town for the day.

The town was never rebuilt, but the ruins were left as a memorial to the people who were killed in the atrocity.

Words to remember at Xavier Thoughts.

The example of New Orleans is going to become the worst fear of those who want to ban guns in the good old U.S.A. Never again can the anti-gunners claim that honest citizens don't need firearms because the police and the government are going to be there to protect you ...

And we've got a good slogan that you're going to hear from one end of the country to the other. And that slogan is: Remember New Orleans ...

The next time anyone says to you: 'Are you just afraid or paranoid?' Look them straight in the eye and say: Remember New Orleans.

If they ask you, 'Why does anyone need to own a gun?' Remember New Orleans.

If they say to you, "Why does anyone need a high-capacity magazine?" Look them straight in the eye and say: Remember New Orleans.

What's wrong with a 15-day waiting period? Remember New Orleans.

What makes you think the government would ever confiscate your gun? Remember New Orleans.

Is the second amendment relevant in the 21st Century? Remember New Orleans.

Is there a t-shirt yet?

I've been trying to think of something witty, incisive, or snarky to say about this article. I can't come up with anything. So I'll just point out the article in the Daily Dunklin Democrat of Dunklin County, MO.

This journalist describes in the detail all the hoops that must be jumped through for someone in Missouri to get a concealed handgun license. He even mentions the red tape that one must go through to become an instructor to teach the classes.

But all of that isn't good enough.

Dunklin is a county with a population of about 33,000. There have been 190 permits issued in that county so far. If my calculations are correct, this means that about 1 in 200 173 people in that county have the permit. Here's his problem:

But what about the public's right to know the identity of those who pack concealed weapons?

In Missouri, the state open records law assumes that government documents are public unless they are exempted specifically. Scores of "good reasons for public access to concealed weapons permits leap to mind," the SPJ stated.

For example, a parent wouldn't be able to determine independently if a babysitter carried a concealed weapon, or a homeowner couldn't discover if a bothersome neighbor had a permit, the SPJ maintained.

Also, journalists would have no way to determine if concealed weapons were used in road rage incidents or at school shootings, the site stated.

"It denies the public and press any way of monitoring the issuance of concealed weapons permits," the SPJ indicated.

The "SPJ" is the "Society for Professional Journalists."

As has been pointed out so many times by so many people, and therefore I don't know why I'm bothering saying it again but I will anyway, is that if the public can so easily discover who has this permit, they will also be able to easily discover who does not have the permit. I wonder if Mr. Hankins would really like some thug who did not appreciate him for some reason to be able to remove all doubt that he is one of the other 199 172.

It sucks to be one of the common folk, eh Steve?

By the way, if I learned that my babysitter had jumped through all these hoops to stay legal and bear that extra measure of responsibility, that would be a point in her favor.

UPDATE: Used a calculator for the numbers instead of just estimating it in my head.

MTV (yeah, that MTV) is going to show a documentary (or something) examining how "guns are changing the lives of four young people in very different ways." Quote:

The program features a convicted felon, a gang member, a hunter and a crime victim who is now an advocate of armed self-defense to present the various sides of the gun debate. Several gun rights advocates immediately challenged MTV's math.

'It's a bit offensive that 50 percent of the people they've chosen to feature as being 'gun owners' are people who are obviously breaking the law and probably acquired their firearms illegally,' Erich Pratt of Gun Owners of America said of the gang member and the convict. 'When you look at the statistics, it's only a fraction of 1 percent of the 'gun owners' in the country who ever use firearms in an illegitimate way.'

Oops, basic math already promises an equation that is far from balanced. And I had such high hopes. I think I'll do something more constructive than watching this. I'm sure there will be a rerun of Invader Zim or something on.

UPDATE: I was right. Big Trouble in Little China was on again.

Someone broke into an animal shelter in Victoria, TX and opened up several cages.

The problem with "animal rights activists" like this is that they fail to realize that animals are animals, and are not capable of rational thought. Apparently the activists aren't too strong on rational thought, either.

The "freed" animals attacked each other. The talley: 14 dead cats, one dead dog, and one injured dog.

Way to go, moron.

Visit Heads Bunker for some absolutely mouth-watering gun wallpaper that Head has created. Beautiful!

How is it that one can go up two rungs in the infamous Ecosystem when one's link score goes down? Does anyone know?

A San Antonio radio station has been, well, I'll just quote it:

In the recurring KROM-Radio segment, callers report sightings of immigration agents.

"Estreo Latino" disc jockeys then alert listeners about the location of limones verdes, or "green limes." The words refer to the dark green Border Patrol uniforms and green-lined SUVs.

[...]

Alex Nogales with the National Hispanic Media Coalition said KROM's segment seems to bring more laughter than harm and the station should not lose its license.

I'm not a lawyer, but this sounds like some kind of aiding and abetting, or at least being an accessory to an illegal activity, to me.

Some people are not amused.

I received by email a link to a very interesting article addressing anti-Christian bigotry specifically, as well as anti-religious bigotry in general. Although this is aimed more at Christians, it is still a must-read for anyone who believes not only in the importance of freedom of religion, but also in the importance of freedom to not believe, if that is your inclination. And where did this article come from? Please visit this link at Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership and read the whole thing:

Already, the worm of religious bigotry is eating into the heart of the American consciousness--including the Christian consciousness. Not long ago, I spoke with a man who happened to mention he was Christian. Immediately after telling me that, he apologized for his beliefs. I asked why on earth he should be sorry. He began to mumble that Christians were responsible for slavery and oppression and slaughter of native peoples and bigotry toward other religions. In other words, although he was a Christian himself who had never been guilty of any of those evils, he had completely bought into the current cultural prejudice that his religion was inherently cruel and corrupt--something to feel ashamed of.

[...]

If you are Christian, you should care because the actions described at the top of this article may be only the beginning. One Holocaust survivor observed, "Auschwitz wasn't built with bricks. It was built with words." That's how it begins. When Christ-haters (or G-d haters) learn they can get away with small deeds of discrimination, they move on to larger ones...and more heinous ones. Actions borne of hatred must be chopped off at the roots. Otherwise hatred proliferates.

Except I think my first choice for an automatic weapon would be a BAR. Anyway, read this article by Vin Suprynowicz: The unlimited power of the sword:

It doesn't matter whether you 'think this is a good idea.' If you want to contend we now have a form of government in which our rulers start with all rights and powers, and allow to the peasantry only those lesser included liberties as they see fit, say so out loud now, please. And tell me when the original Constitution was voided, and by what legal process.

tnx to Of Arms and the Law

I added one line to my sidebar today and my template seemed to sort of implode. So I've been messing with it all day trying to figure out how to get it to look halfway respectable. If you visited and things looked odd, that's why. I've been trying to get it to look okay with both IE and Firefox. They handle the code differently and sometimes it's a trick getting things to look right with both of them (and they never look identical).

I have added a Feedburner feed to the blog in addition to the Atom feed. My Atom feed wasn't working right for a while, so now there's an alternative.

Chicago has banned pet pigeons. This specifically effects those who are enthusiasts of pigeon racing:

A federal appeals court has upheld the city's ban on pet racing pigeons, rejecting claims by some enthusiasts that the ordinance is unconstitutional.

The ban makes Chicago the only large U.S. city that outlaws pet pigeons, according to the American Racing Pigeon Union.

The pigeons coo excessively and scatter feathers and droppings, proponents of the ban said.

How this has any significance to the thousands of wild free-range pigeons that inhabit the city, I am unable to determine. However, based on their past record in dealing with gun control, I'm sure they know what they are doing.

I haven't said much about the Christmas controversy on this blog because I think it's all moot--except as just one small part of the overall war against Christianity. I probably have what many Christians would consider an odd outlook on Christmas, and probably an outlook that is held by a minority of Christians. I have never celebrated Christmas as the birth of Christ. To me, and to all of my immediate family as well as many of my extended family, it has always just been a day to hang out together and exchange gifts. The reason for this is that the Bible never gives us the day of His birth, nor are we instructed in the Bible to celebrate the day of His birth. We are instructed instead to celebrate the day of His resurrection, which happened on the first day of the week, and is celebrated every first day of the week. I do not go so far as to rail against those who sing songs about his birth during Christmas-time, because He told some of his disciples once something like, "Where two or three are joined together, there am I in their midst." So if some carolers want to sing songs about him during Christmas-time, who am I to say that theirs is not a valid form of worship, and that Jesus is not there in their midst? More power to them. And that's all I have to say about that.

I am thankful for many things during this time of year. I am especially thankful that I am required to see certain relatives and in-laws only rarely, this time of year being one of those occasions. Just about everyone in my family, including my wife, say that I am very hard to buy gifts for. So I have devised a cunning plan, as Baldrick would say. Next year I'm going to tell everyone to just go to Walmart and buy me the first box of ammo they notice behind the shelf at the sports counter. To make it easy on them, I'll tell them to focus on handgun ammo. Whatever they buy, odds are that I'll have a gun that will shoot it. If not, that will be a perfect excuse to buy another gun. I think it's a good plan.

H.P. Lovecraft once wrote a Christmas story, and if you are a fan you probably already know about it. If modern Christmas has got you down, or if it's just too beautiful, bright and sunny at your house to even think of Christmas (just a few clouds, please, so it doesn't look like the middle of summer), maybe this will help.

It was the Yuletide, that men call Christmas though they know in their hearts it is older than Bethlehem and Babylon, older than Memphis and mankind. It was the Yuletide, and I had come at last to the ancient sea town where my people had dwelt and kept festival in the elder time when festival was forbidden; where also they had commanded their sons to keep festival once every century, that the memory of primal secrets might not be forgotten. Mine were an old people, and were old even when this land was settled three hundred years before. And they were strange, because they had come as dark furtive folk from opiate southern gardens of orchids, and spoken another tongue before they learnt the tongue of the blue-eyed fishers. And now they were scattered, and shared only the rituals of mysteries that none living could understand. I was the only one who came back that night to the old fishing town as legend bade, for only the poor and the lonely remember.

The Festival is available online, although it may violate copyright. (There is some dispute as to who owns the copyright, or even if it is still copyrightable--for example this story was first published 80 years ago). Anyhow, I'm not hosting it, I'm only showing the way.

And here is a poem inspired by the story.

Yule Fest

Gathered together for the centuried rite;
Across snow-covered ground we walk bleakly t'ward home,
Through archaic Kingsport and streets seldom trodden,
After sunset's last rays have sunk into the gloam.

Only the lonely and poor still remember
Why we have come to this place out of time;
In this strange haunted city where once lived our elders,
With its gambrels and gables all covered with rime.

In the last ancient house at the end of the alley
We are met by the priest in his waxen-faced mask;
From blasphemous books we relearn the rituals,
Through tunnels beneath we descend to our task.

In green-litten caverns we hold dark communion,
Near a subterrene river where ghouls fear to tread.
With wild harmonies and songs cacophonic,
We sing and we laugh as we feast with the dead.

Then beyond the blackness from over the river,
Where the green flame burns bright and the black waters fall,
Come our mounts that are neither a mole nor a buzzard,
But something a sane man could never recall.

Far back in the shades of these gangrenous caverns,
In the depths of this cosmic Tartarean hall;
Are shapes of vile things that somehow are moving:
Vile things that walk but ought only to crawl.

Maddened, we rush down that black, oily river,
Past chaotic cataracts that thunder and boom;
Through caverns infernal on wings gaunt and membranous,
Our steeds flop and fly as we rejoice in our doom.

Yes, only a few of us old ones remember,
Only the cursed and the sad demon-kissed;
And snow fills the footprints that wend through the alley,
And the last ancient house disappears in the mist.

© 1997 Alan Peschke

SayUncle points to this article about a Baltimore man whose home was accidentally invaded by police. A noteworthy article, for sure. But Mr. Scheper should not blame his pistol for his own ineptitude:

In the basement, Scheper grabbed a CZ-52 semiautomatic. "I have this piece-of-junk Czechoslovakian pistol," he says. "I put a magazine in it, racked the slide back. I was trying to check to see if there was a round in the chamber and I couldn't rack the slide . . . so I was fighting it. The gun was jammed, and I was trying to get it operable. It accidentally went off into the floor of my basement."

My own CZ-52 is not a piece of junk by any means, and if I were to draw it against a home invader there would be serious consequences for the guy on the other end. I have used a wide variety of cheap ammo in that gun and have never managed to cause a jam. I prefer to use S&B, however, just because it's cleaner and I usually grab a box of it at the same time that I'm buying S&B Makarov ammo.

SaysUncle points to this entry at Coal Creek Armory about the new Springfield XD in .45ACP. That's right. Not GAP--ACP.

Fourteen rounds in one magazine. I think a trade-up may be forthcoming.

...or is The Quick and the Dead one of the most incredibly stupid movies ever made? It is so full of gun fallacies that it should not even be allowed to exist. And everyone involved should be severely punished for so utterly destroying a perfectly good Louis L'Amour story.

I had to look this up as soon as I got home:Trooper Critically Wounded in Wild SA Chase. A big stretch of highway 90 was closed down--I got caught in the detour. The whole stretch of highway was swarming with crime scene investigators--it was quite amazing. There was one police car with the back windshield completely smashed out--apparently from gunfire. Not only did they rob a bank, but several innocent motorists caught bullets as they shot at not only the pursuing cops, but at anyone who got in their way or anyone whose face they didn't like, apparently.

I am amazed that they were caught without anyone getting killed. I would have found it extremely difficult to restrain myself from just popping them in the head when I caught up to their crashed vehicle, if I had been an officer on the scene. My compliments and thanks to the real professionals who behaved like professionals and took these thugs out of circulation.

If you were to look back in my archives for some reason, you would see that this is actually the anniversary of the founding of this blog. I don't consider it very highly, however, because at the time I was apparently bored and couldn't think of anything better to do. I didn't really get "serious" about it until March 2005. Here are some previous names of this blog:
The Complete Waste of Time Weblog
Farm Road 539
The Twyllyp Report
Flourishing in Obscurity

I still kind of like that last one, it seems the most accurate.

I don't have the money to buy a gun in celebration today (actually I do, but it's in a savings account and is untouchable except for a real emergency). However, I do plan on getting one when the income tax refund comes in in a couple months time. I have my heart set on a lever-action .357 magnum.

That first day of blogging, although there were no gun-related topics, in retrospect seems to have set the whimsical, scattershot tone of this blog. This is appropriate, because my mind often operates in a whimsical, scattershot fashion.

So here's a summary of that first day.

A post about E-Sword: Bible freeware that I use often.

A post making fun of Barbie & Ken versions of Aragorn and Arwen. (The link is no longer valid).

The last post was about Jack Chick tracts, which I still am both offended and amused by, although the amusement outweighs the offensiveness. There was also a link to a spoof of these tracts from a Cthulhuian perspective. The old link is no longer valid because some lawyers made the author remove it--it obviously violated copyrights. However, that is not dead which can always lie, and once released on the Internet nothing can die. A good link to the Cthulhu Chick Tract may be found here.

From the Helena Independent Record:

Over the weeks, the 20 men and women who signed on for the Billings Police Department's community liaison program heard harrowing tales about life-and-death encounters from the officers who experienced them. Those in the program were warned that even the most mundane calls turn explosive and were lectured about use-of-force laws, officer restraint and the need to rely on training to control fear.

This was a chance to put training into practice.

The firearms simulator--set up in the Billings Operations Center known as "the Barn"--features live-action confrontations that unfold, like movies, on a large white screen. Some contain empty threats, such as a man in an alley reaching too quickly for a wallet or a beer. In others, the figures come fast with guns or knives.

Trainees carry a real pistol or shotgun modified to shoot lasers instead of bullets. It's their job to determine when, and if, to shoot in self-defense or to protect another character.

"It's nothing like the real thing, but it's the closest thing you can get," Lt. Tim O'Connell said.

More cities should do this kind of thing.

This is an interesting article from the Michigan Northern Express. Too much to excerpt, just read it. Main points, to me, are that 1) beanbags don't work, and 2) a criminal who had just picked up the phone to negotiate was dead seconds later because someone decided to use beanbags on him, and he responded by shooting back with his real gun--which got him shot with real guns instead of beanbags. I think his response to being beanbagged is very telling: "What the hell did you do that for?"

Maybe this is what those Brits were worried about.

What is wrong with these people? Anyone caught commiting a crime while wearing a Santa costume should have something especially nasty inflicted upon them.

I don't know, any law that bans Hilary Duff, Christina Aguilera and Celine Dion can't be all bad.

Bolt the doors, board up the windows, say goodbye to your pets and lock the kids in the closet. Because...




tnx to The War On Guns

Wellington, New Zealand:

A group of 40 people dressed in Santa Claus costumes, many of them drunk, rampaged through New Zealand's largest city, robbing stores and assaulting security guards, police said Sunday.

The rampage, dubbed 'Santarchy' by local newspapers, began early Saturday afternoon when the men, wearing ill-fitting Santa costumes, threw beer bottles and urinated on cars from an Auckland overpass, said Auckland Central Police spokeswoman Noreen Hegarty.

She said the men then rushed through a central city park, overturning garbage containers, throwing bottles at passing cars and spraying graffiti on buildings.

One man climbed the mooring line of a cruise ship before being ordered down by the captain. Other Santas, objecting when the man was arrested, attacked security staff, Hegarty said.

The remaining Santas entered a downtown convenience store and carried off beer and soft drinks.

'They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves,' store owner Changa Manakynda said.

Alex Dyer, a spokesman for the group, said Santarchy was a worldwide movement designed to protest the commercialization of Christmas.

Three people were arrested and charged with drunkenness and disorderly behavior.

Somebody call the Tick.

In the near future I'm going to start a series on this blog that I will refer to as "Pipe Smoker of the Week." I once had another site--well, it's still there but I no longer update it and since the hit counter decided to start charging I don't know if it still gets hits--that showed people who are famous, or at least somewhat notable, who are smoking a pipe (fictional characters are included). Why?

When I started that other site back in 1997 I had no idea or intention that it might become some sort of political statement. It was just something I did for fun. I have been toying with the idea for a while, to use the stuff I had collected there on this blog, and my recent posting of the Santa-with-pipe pictures has been a small part of that.

There's also this (via SayUncle) and this (via Michelle Malkin).

Both of those articles are about cigarettes. They are also both about historical revisionism and nannyism.

I don't smoke cigarettes. In fact, I hate being around cigarette smoke. It has a terrible effect on my sinuses and just plain smells bad. In my opinion, the junk (all the non-tobacco chemicals and accelerants) they put in cigarettes compared to good pipe tobacco (or cigar tobacco) is like comparing a hot dog to a fine roast beef (with the exception of kosher hot dogs, those are good stuff). But from my perspective as a pipe smoker and a gun owner, I can see numerous parallels between the anti-ism against both of these things. Unfortunately, there is no unalienable right to smoke tobacco that is protected by the constitution, and I have no doubt that tobacco will eventually be taxed or regulated out of existence. Pipes will become nothing more than curious family heirlooms. Some people will attempt to grow it in their backyards, perhaps, but the process of creating superior pipe and cigar tobacco is not something that lends itself well to a backyard hobbyist, and the leaves produced will be inferior. Those who do produce it will be at legal risk because they want to continue a practice that has been common among humankind since nearly the beginning of time.

So, this is something I'm doing just to make a small contribution to historical accuracy and to thumb my nose at the nannyites. It will probably start after Christmas.

I have enough pictures to last about three years if I post only one per week. I may as well take this opportunity to say: If you have a digital picture, or know of a location on the Internet of a picture of a famous or notable person smoking a pipe, let me know. I can probably use it.

When I previously stated that it still seemed odd for me to see this blog listed among "actual" news sources, here is an example. If you go to this site soon enough you will see this blog listed along with a bunch of radio stations and newspapers because of this post, which was fed to them by topix.net. Does this happen to anyone else? I mean, to other obscure blogs that hardly anyone reads like this one?

St. Petersburg, FL: A man brandishes a gun at someone who he (says he) believed was menacing him in traffic, is charged with aggravated assault, and goes to jail. No shots fired. Road rager admits that it has taught him to be polite to other drivers from now on.

Seattle, WA: Police officer fires at a panhandler, allegedly tells him twice that she was going to kill him. Internal affairs finds that the panhandler's version of the story is the more credible, and that he had been made to "suffer an assault on the street, followed by his wrongful arrest and booking into jail." Despite being found to have fired her weapon, no assault charges filed, aggravated or otherwise. Officer penalized with a 15-day unpaid vacation.

And people wonder why I'm cynical.

Since Josh at South Park Pundit as well as a few other bloggers recently have posted something about their favorite knives, I thought I should jump on the bandwagon. I have always carried a pocketknife, for the past 10 years or so it has been a "Tinker" model Swiss Army Knife, and I also have one of their "Cybertools" which is quite useful. But a few months ago I also started clipping this inside my pocket, and now I feel kind of naked without it.



A Smith & Wesson kerambit. The most useful single-blade, non-gadget-type knife I've ever had. The slot on the blade lends itself well to left-handed opening.

Thomas Nast (1840-1902) was a famous political cartoonist who invented such immediately recognizeable images as the Democrat Donkey, the Republican Elephant, and the lean, goateed Uncle Sam. When he died, Harper's Weekly called him the "Father of American Caricature." He was also largely responsible for the American concept of Santa's appearance as rotund and pipe-smoking.



In this image created in 1881, Santa is enjoying a long-stemmed clay in the fashion of the Dutch tavern pipe. The tavern pipe, like all clays, originated in the truly olden days of pipe smoking, before briar was discovered to be a wood apparently created by God just for smoking pipes. This pipe was called the tavern pipe because each table in a tavern would have a few of these pipes lying on it. When a patron wished to smoke, he would simply break off the last inch or so of stem, so that he would be putting a clean stem-end in his mouth. When the stem became too short, the pipe was discarded and replaced. Of course, if you own your own tavern pipe, or any other clay for that matter, such precautions are unnecessary and one may enjoy his or her pipe indefinitely.

Previous: The Politically Incorrect Santa

...it's because I've been putting in some hard work and have been quite tired. I've also been reading some actual books more and spending less time on the computer.

I remember many details from when I was very young. This is about a Christmas present I got when I was 4 years old, in 1968. It was one of the coolest Christmas gifts I ever got. The Johnny Eagle Red River rifle.


This is an old ad for the gun. I never got the revolver to go with it, but the rifle was, by current standards, unimaginable. You'll notice all the times that "realistic" is used in this ad, and they weren't kidding. It was so realistic, you even had to load your own ammo before using.

The cartridges were made of a brass-colored plastic. The bullets were made of a lead-colored plastic. Inside each shell was a spring. The bullets had a "tail" that extended below the actual "bullet" part, so that the bullet had to be inserted into the shell, which compressed the spring. The bullet snapped into place on some little catch inside the shell.

The gun was loaded through the side port, just like an old Winchester. Working the lever would chamber a cartridge, just like a real gun. When you pulled the trigger, some kind of mechanism inside would release the catch on the cartridge and send the bullet flying out by spring power. Work the lever, the empty shell was ejected, and a new cartridge was chambered, just like the real thing.

Not real enough yet? There was also a compartment for a roll of paper caps, which cycled every time the action was worked, so that when fired, a cap would pop as the bullet flew out.

As you can see from the picture, it had real sights. Of course, the barrel wasn't actually rifled and I can't vouch for any pinpoint accuracy, but I remember bouncing bullets off a paper target that had been taped to the wall of my playroom. I don't think it was powerful enough to put an eye out, but I think would have left a nasty bruise. I was well-schooled even as a four-year-old, and I don't remember ever shooting it at a real person. Imaginary bad guys and paper targets were good enough for me.

Eventually the inside gadget wore out, but I still fired bullets of imagination for long afterward. When I think back on this, it seems almost incredible that such a toy could have existed.

Here is a website that has pictures of ads for this and other realistic toy guns from the same manufacturer: Deluxe Reading Toy Guns. Do a search on ebay, and you sometimes can still see the old toys showing up for sale.

When I was five, I got a large toy squirtgun that looked like a transparent orange submachine gun, and made "realistic machine gun sounds" when the trigger was pulled. At 6, I got a Fort Apache playset. At 7, I got a toy Kentucky rifle & pistol set, which meant I could quit using my dad's yardstick for a pretend muzzle-loader. So you can see what appealed to me back then.

I still have the Fort Apache, which is (somewhat miraculously) almost entirely intact, and which my own kids play with. I also still have the toy Kentucky rifle & pistol, which they also play with.

tnx to Xavier and his "cool Christmas toys" for the inspiration

This year-old post updated to fix the graphic link.

Not satisfied with merely having a police force that must face violent criminals unarmed, Britain is going the extra length to now have police officers who aren't, well, human. Ten life-sized cardboard cutout replicas have been used around Britain at various fuel stations to help prevent drive-aways (as we call them around here).

Except that one of them was, er, stolen. But hey, they got it back.

The replicas cost 100 pounds (about $175) and supposedly "can look like the real thing from afar." On the plus side, if someone decides to pump one full of bullets it won't actually die, so I guess that's something.

In related news, mysterious sightings of cardboard Elvis cutouts have been cropping up across Hounslow.

tnx to The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Read all about it in the San Francisco Chronicle.

I had to read this a couple of times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating or something. Lahore, Pakistan:

Pakistan's Supreme Court has extended a ban on making, selling and flying kites that it imposed two months ago after ruling that the sport has become increasingly deadly, an official said Saturday.

The court decided on Friday to extend the ban until it meets next on Jan. 26, said Aftab Iqbal, advocate general for eastern Punjab province, of which Lahore is the capital.

While the court was hearing the case, police swung batons and lobbed tear gas shells outside the building to disperse about 500 kite-makers and kite-flying enthusiasts who were trying to attend the proceedings.

On the second read-through I finally understood:

Hardline Muslims oppose Basant as a waste of money and consider it a Hindu festival. It is also celebrated with loud music and yellow dresses.

Ah ha. The same people who only have fun when they're killing people who don't follow their religion. Now I understand.

Read it and weep. Or chuckle sardonically, whichever you prefer. I'd love to see the patrol car's video of this:

HAMTRAMCK, Mich. - A police officer has been charged with using a Taser on his partner during an argument over whether they should stop for a soft drink.

Ronald Dupuis, 32, was charged Wednesday with assault and could face up to three months in jail if convicted. The six-year veteran was fired after the Nov. 3 incident.

I followed this link: When Being a Good Guy Isn't Enough at The Sight from Xavier's blog. It is a very well-written, well-thought out commentary on two men who tried to stop a couple of crazy shooters. The men were Mark Allen Wilson of Tyler, Texas, who was killed; and Brendan McKown of Tacoma Washington, who was severely injured. I have already made some brief, inadequate comments on both of these men on this blog, and can only recommend that you go read the link shown above. I wanted only to add that what I saw at the bottom of this article brought tears to my eyes, and I will quote it in full.

Mark Allen Wilson
An American Hero
1953 - 2005

Texas House Resolution No. 740

R E S O L U T I O N

WHEREAS, The tragic death of Mark Alan Wilson of Tyler on February 24, 2005, at the age of 52, has brought a profound loss to his many friends and loved ones; and

WHEREAS, With instinctive courage and selfless resolve, this valorous Texan confronted a gunman on the steps of the Smith County Courthouse; reacting to the kind of inhuman crisis that compels ordinary men to seek cover or flee, Mark Wilson proved to be an extraordinary man; and

WHEREAS, Mr. Wilson confronted a lethal threat in order to protect the people of his community, and in his valiant attempt to save the lives of others, he risked his own safety; and

WHEREAS, The magnitude of the sacrifice that ended his life all too prematurely is in keeping with the character that was evident to all who knew him; an active member of the Tyler community, he used his time on earth to the fullest; and

WHEREAS, Born on January 20, 1953, in Dallas, Mr. Wilson graduated from MacArthur High School in 1971 and went on to serve his country with distinction in the U.S. Navy; after his discharge from the military, this avid sportsman worked as a racquetball instructor and embraced his ntrepreneurial spirit, opening Tyler's On Target Shooting Range in 1997; and

WHEREAS, A dedicated volunteer, he committed his talents to help raise money for nonprofit organizations and lent his time to Heart of Tyler/Main Street projects, including the Texas Blues Festival and Festival on the Square; and

WHEREAS, Mark Wilson was a true hero, and his example reminds us that the very best elements of human nature can emerge in the midst of the chaos and violence that threaten our society; though this brave man will be missed, his legacy will continue to inspire all who are privileged to know of him; now, therefore, be it

RESOLVED, That the House of Representatives of the 79th Texas Legislature hereby pay special tribute to the life of Mark Alan Wilson of Tyler and extend deepest sympathy to the members of his family: to his parents, Alex and Lynn Stewart; to his sisters, Melody and Holly Wilson; to his nieces, Katie and Kristen DeFazio; and to his other relatives and many friends; and, be it further

RESOLVED, That an official copy of this resolution be prepared for his family and that when the Texas House of Representatives adjourns this day, it do so in memory of Mark Alan Wilson.

Berman
______________________________

Speaker of the House

I certify that H.R. No. 740 was unanimously adopted
by arising vote of the House on March 31, 2005.

Maybe it's only a small attempt at showing this man some respect. It won't bring him back, and I'm sure his family would prefer that he still be alive rather than receiving this memorial. But this is news that should be spread far and wide, so that maybe somewhere, someone will read it and come to understand the awesome task that has been taken on by those who have come to know that there is evil in this world, and that desperate measures must sometimes be taken to stop it.

Reference: http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/tlo/79R/billtext/HR00740F.HTM

Read about this visit from overseas which ended up being very gun-related over at Thus Spracht ME.

The last Carnival of Cordite for the year is up at Resistance is Futile!

There was a time, back in the olden days, when pictures of Santa Claus inevitably portrayed him with a pipe. I think this was mostly due to Clement Moore's The Night Before Christmas.